imagine your hand reaching out to touch the soft, warm fur of your sleeping puppy

imagine the nice feelings

the sense of tenderness

of companionship

even of love

that goes with that touch,

you stroke your puppy

and rub the back of its neck

and then your fingers slide around the puppy’s neck

and you don’t seem to have any control of your hand

and your fingers close on your pet’s neck

and slowly tighten.

You panic

and try to release the puppy

but you can’t

and your fingers press deeper into its coat

and the puppy wakes up

and now you’re struggling to let go

but your grip just gets tighter

and the puppy realises too late that something is wrong

and begins to whine

and try to get away

but you hold on

and now the puppy is scrabbling for freedom

and its claws dig into your flesh

and rip your wrists

but you can’t let go

and you can feel your thumb closing its throat

and its struggles get weaker

and you’re bleeding

and the pain is intense

but you can’t let go

and all the time you’re watching this happening

and you have no control

and you can’t let go

and you hate yourself

and you hate the puppy

because you loved it

and now you’ve killed it

and you can’t let go.


Addiction kills everything you love and rips you to pieces and you can’t let go. 

Don’t start.

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